Sex and Breasts
by Happy Cheerio
Summary: Canada and Ukraine's relationship isn't working out. So Canada turns to Sealand. Second chapter is about Canada's return to his wife. And his plan to make her boobs satisfactory. This whole story is a giant sex scene, you have been warned.
1. Chapter 1

Ukraine entered the bedroom that night. "H-Honey? I want to try something new..."

Canada looked up from his book. "Something... in bed?"

"Y-Yes..." she stammered.

Canada grew a little uncomfortable. "You know I don't like all these weird fetishes of yours..."

Ukraine entered the room and sat on the bed, next to Mattie. "But this one is gonna be REALLLLLY fun!"

Canada hesitated for a moment. "...Fine."

Ukraine and Canada both stripped their clothes.

Canada was again amazed at how large his wife's BEWBS were.

"Oh Nikita... they are so beautiful!"

Ukraine went over to the bed and took the sheet off. Because it would be awkward if one of them was stuck suffocating under the covers.

Canada got on the bed

*WARNING GONNA START INSERTING VAGINAS AND PENISES IN THE LANGUAGE NOW*

*JUST TO MAKE IT MORE AWKWARD*

Canada went over his wife in that 69 position. He licked her vagina It tasted like asparagus.

Eww.

Ukraine SENSUALLY touched Mattie's penis. It was soooo MANLEH! She loved manleh men. She put her mouth around his penis. She squeezed his balls. And bit them. They were so hairryyyy.

He moaned.

Ukraine started grinding away on Canada.

She threw her head back: THIS WAS THE BEST PART!

*ORGASM!*

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" she screamed in pleasure.

Canada felt left out. HE wasn't getting an orgasm.

Canada didn't want to admit it, but although her boobs were ginormous, she could not satisfy him.

MEANING HER VAGINA SUX.

"AHHHHHHHHH" shrieked Ukraine

SUDDELY! Peter barged into the room. "Ukraine! Is something wrong?"

Then he realized what his eyes were seeing.

"MATTHEW! HOW CAN YOU CHEAT ON ME LIKE THIS! I HATE YOU!"

Peter ran away in tears. "I TRUSTED YOU MATTIE!

Matthew got up. "Peter! Wait! This isn't what it looks like!"

Ukraine's mouth reluctantly let go of Mattie's penis. "Mattie? What was Peter doing here?

"Oh! Um, nothing dear!"

"Did he say cheat?" Ukraine was very confused.

"He didn't! I didn't cheat on anyone!"

Ukraine was starting to piece things together. "You... you cheated on me with Peter! How could you! He's like 5 and a little boy!"

Mattie looked at the floor. "I... I also have fetishes..."

Ukraine gasped!

"Mattie! How could you! I am your wife!" Ukraine shouted. But Matthew had already left.

OMG LIEK THIS IS THE BEST FANFIC EVAR PLZPLZPLZPLZ REVIEW


	2. Chapter 2

AN : THX FOR THE BAJILION REVIEWS THEY HAVE MADE ME WRITE MOAR HERES THE NEXT CHAPPIE!1111 ONE!

After abandoning his sweat, sweat, huge-breasted Nikita, Mattie had chased after his true love, the short, 5 year old, male, obnoxious child, named Peter.

But then he stopped. Why would he make that choice?

But then he realized it was because he was actually gay and liked children.

He continued his pursuit.

"Peter! Wait!"

Peter waited. He couldn't disobey his master.

Canada (who is still naked) caught up to Peter.

"I want to play games again" Canada told Peter.

"Okay, I love games!" Peter was such an innocent child.

"I'm sorry for cheating on you with my wife, Petey, even though you were obviously the 3rd person here, and didn't even probably want to be in a relationship with a pedophile.

Petey blushed. "Oh no Mattie, I really do enjoy our relationship! I just have altimers (SPELING) so I don't remember that you were married!"

Mattie sighed in relief. "Great! So, let's go play those games then!"

Mattie and Petey went over to Prince Peter's bedroom. Peter had become a prince one second ago. There was a giant coronation party.

Matthew got onto peters tiny bed.

"This is gonna be awesome!" he said!

Matthew was already naked.

But Peter took off his clothes.

Peter had the biggest penis ever.

And he was only 5.

Matthew grinned in delight.

"Let stop pretending. YOU are MY master!"

Petey smiled. "Yes I am!" he then handcuffed Matthew to the bed.

Peter inserted his penis inside Matthews's buttocks.

Matthew groaned.

"Your dick! It's just.. soooo big! This is way better than Ukraine's boobs! BOOBS CAN GIVE NO SATISFACTION!"

Matthew was really enjoying this.

But then he realized something.

There WAS a way to make boobs give satisfaction!

"Stop!" he cried

Peter stopped, dumbfounded. He thought this was what Matthew wanted!

"Master..." Canada said "Please release me! There's something I forgot to do!"

Reluctantly, and not being any smarter, Peter did as he was asked. Peter uncuffed Canada.

Matthew ran all the way back to his house.

Still naked.

His wife was in the bedroom, and had cried herself to sleep in their bed.

'Good' he thought, 'this will be perfect..."

He headed for the kitchen.

He knew exactly what he was looking for, when he had found it, he went back to the room.

With the corkscrew, he got into the bed he shared with his wife. He turned her over so she was lying on her back, making sure not to wake her.

He proceeded to drill a giant hole in between her giant boobs.

Ukraine obviously woke up. "OH MY GOSH! MATTIE! YOU RETURNED FOR ME!" She hadn't even realized what he was doing.

Mattie kept screwing that corkscrew deeper into her.

Nikita realized what he was doing, because her lungs were starting to feel broken. Also her chest hurt just a little. "Mattie, stop!"

But he didn't. He drilled all the way through her lungs. Ukraine pleaded for him to stop, gasping for air. She was like a fish out of water.

After 6 hours she finally died, after Mattie had dug the whole through her spine and out her back.

Matthew was pleased. Finally, time for his satisfaction!

He whipped out his penis and inserted it into the whole he had made between her boobs.

AND HE HAD THE BEST SEX WITH HER BOOBS EVER.

THE END.

AN: So yeah, I hope you guys aren't too scared for life.

Random person: You don't need to read the rest of this AN.

This is dedicated to my friend that I am not allowed to contact at the moment. Because I would rather fix our friendship using an old story I made up on MSN with you than write my NaNoWriMo.

PS: Reviewing this is technically not talking to me. :)

PPS: Also would you mind looking over my first 10000 words (20 pages, five chapters) in my story and pointing out EVERY SINGLE LITTLE plot hole, or spot that could use more information? Because I really need that. Also just to find out if it just completely sucks. Will get Ary to do it anyways but I'd appreciate if you helped me make it decent before she thrashes it.

PPPS: Yes I am totally using this story to contact you.

_ Why did this have to happen in November… already busy enough… Seriously, Bilans every night + math HW + Nanowrimo + Fight leaves no time for anything else.


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